THE BLOGGING IS ON AGAIN!!

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HEY before i say anything for y’all to understand how serious this is i have spent 4 and 17 hours without opening my laptop. and that’s a first.!!! and i haven’t felt relieved by that not even one second but the thing is i was dead tired, chronically, excruciatingly tired by two or three things!

As  most of  who must have read my previous posts know i moved to a new city to do my clinicals at a Hospital. The first two months i tried a bit to share what my first experiences with patients , diseases and death were like. Then at some point everything got so overwhelming and tiresome. Too many assignments, reasearch, and patients to follow-up day by day.

So even when i had time i would eat ,sleep and watch grey’s anatomy! i couldn’t bring myself to write and i missed it terribly but i didn’t have much choice. despite that i always had reminders that i had loyal followers waiting, i still was getting messages about new comments followers and awards nominations. and now am more than glad to get up on my lazy ass and do my thing blogging is on again!!

 

STAY TUNED AND STAY AMAZING!

“Little Donald Trump the cutie”

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Believe it or not this cute innocent little boy is young Donald Trump, i do not like Donald Trump not one tiny bit of me likes him or thinks he is a good man.

But when i found these i was reassured ,that at least he was once a cute little boy! which makes me wonder how he grew into this ugly and irrational American running for president headed out to ruin America which i probably shouldn’t care about since am not an American citizen!

IS THIS YOUNG MAN UGLY ? NO SIR!

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Instead he looks like that guy every girl would want , and the uniform completes the last piece of his attractiveness. ladies and gentlemen meet hot young Trump!

 

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He is the nice looking man second right first row..

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Everything inside of me wants to prove that he couldn’t have been cute at one point in life but despite my prejudice and the fact that i don’t like him, i was glad to find these portraits.

 

BUT THIS , THIS MY DEAR, IS AN EXTREMELY UGLY  AND EVIL LOOKING MAN RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!

Donald Trump Endorses GOP Candidate Mitt Romney In Las Vegas
LAS VEGAS, NV – FEBRUARY 02: Donald Trump speaks to members of the media before endorsing Republican presidential candidate, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney at the Trump International Hotel & Tower Las Vegas February 2, 2012 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Romney came in first in the Florida primary on January 31 and is looking ahead to Nevada’s caucus on February 4. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

STOLEN ILLUSIONS

 

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She stole my illusions

those of comfort and pleasure

those of where to find leisure

she stole my confusions

those about what to trust or fear

 

she taught my hands to wander

touch whatever is yonder

if it put my heart to slumber

towards her i endlessly  ran

and hard slaps silenced my sighs

when my breast started to ripe

i found myself a soulless friend

someone to show my womanly thighs

 

she taught me how to fake laughter

to let my beauty learn to wafter

to lure men with whispers

then i would find my illusions

hidden in their scent and touch

find my dreams and confusions

in the heat of their maddening lust

 Copyright © 2016 FofoFlor

“My heart is pathetically poor”

 

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There was a time i have been spiritually strong or rather blessed and full of consolations, that i thought i was a rock that couldn’t shake, and that i would overcome anything by praying, that i had what it takes and the right weapon to fight with

Those times i felt like i would be able to deal with every heartache, every downfall with prayer and that i would swallow it all in and cling to Christ.

Little did i know that someday i would experience so much dryness that prayer would feel like empty words being thrown into the sky one after another. and no matter how i searched deeper and deeper i would only feel more even lost and disconnected from God’s grace and presence

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And for sometime i started to look elsewhere, to see if i could find answers in places i knew were the wrongest to find love, peace and the comfort i needed. Surrounding myself with material things didn’t help neither did looking for comfort in humanly love and affection

God is always near and close, and through dryness he teaches us to trust not based on the peace and consolations we get from him, but to love him for him and remember the poverty of our hearts, and know through absolute humility that we are weak, and pathetic and can’t do anything on our own.

To be able to pray and trust we need him, it all comes from his grace, the ability to resist from temptation, not to despair when we fall into great and repeated sins. Only his mercy saves us from sins and so there is no place for pride in spirituality because it all is his grace.

 

Blindly

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if it means following a road

that leads to a tunnel with no light at the end

or walking on thorns towards a heartache with no end

i’ll follow it blindly..to fall in the arms of you

ignoring through every step i’m the other woman

the less right, the less deserving

i don’t know love, i need not your love

if this passion you can keep ablaze

so i’ll keep playing with this fire so strong

even if it secretly burns my insides

and towards the loneliness  it hides

i’will  follow it forever blindly

 

Copyright © 2016 FofoFlor

“I HAVE NEVER BEEN THERE AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT FEELS”

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[picture found on google]

She is only sixteen and the strongest of all my patients..

When I walked in yesterday she looked so pale but not in a lot of pain, as she usually is.

you haven’t visited me for a while, i smiled,  it was a weekend i don’t work on weekends. here is the Chest X-ray you asked for, it looks perfect no metastases which is good news

And the bad news is you are losing your leg, something i knew from the first time she was admitted. but i never wanted to be the one to break the news , the senior surgeon will be here to take a look at this i said i told her

And there he was, you have cancer, everything shows its a Melanoma and this mass will not disappear we must amputate the leg before it spreads. he camly said

No it can’t be i’d rather die, than lose my leg, she cried but losing a leg is not like losing  life, you are lucky that there are no metastases , yet  i know deep inside there is no luck in having cancer.

I’ve been sick, i’ve endured my share of disastrous physical pain, but i have never had cancer. I’ve never been told that i would lose a leg or an arm. I’ve never had to turn from a functional person to someone who needs the help of people to do every little thing for them.

I  don’t know how to explain that life will go on, that it’s not the end when you still have life. even if it maybe for one more day only. i have never been there and i don’t know how it feels..and neither do i know how to console and comfort my patients.