THIS IS WHY I HATE CHRISTMAS (and am not the only one)

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Well did I just say I hate Christmas? i just offended my religious catholic  self, who was supposed to love, cherish and worship Christmas! How can I hate the celebration of the birth of Jesus?  my very own God ? no that’s not what I hate!

I have not always hated Christmas when I was a little girl, I always got new clothes, gifts, treats for Christmas it was all beautiful, and we definitely had to have a Christmas tree. The tree was the biggest deal of it all, i would literally cry for the tree.

As I grew older the excitement fade out.Christmas grew dull, and suddenly there was no tree, none of the things that made me happy. and i became aware of all the disturbing things and thoughts that accompanied Christmas.

 CONGRATULATIONS YOU ARE TRAPPED!!!

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My heart sincerely goes to everyone who is going to be trapped!! In some kind of hypocritical family reunion and be forced to socialize with people they would not want to do anything with. all the annoyingly offensive people on our family tree. The people who have hurt us, or bullied us in some way. because we have to act happy, smile give hugs and compliment,be on our best behavior! BUT no one should ever have to go through that, not for the sake of Christmas!
THE BEFOREs AND THE AFTERs..

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As i write this alot of people have already said this sentence ” his is going to be the first Christmas without him/her”
Having Christmas be more about family and belonging, a lot of things happen over the years and its when everyone is getting together, that many remember the death of a parent, child, spouse , friend.

Something about Christmas aggravates the grief, the loneliness as we remember the good things we aren’t going to share anymore. or the traditions that wont make anymore sense without our loved ones!

WHAT IF MY FAMILY IS AMONG THE BROKEN ONES?

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If not death, alot of other things break our homes and families, separation, conflicts, and divorce..When Christmas happens we are reminded of what was, and what could have been, or if you are a child torn between spending Christmas with which half of the family..or else have to deal with the fact that it doesn’t even feel like Christmas anymore.

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I know deep in my heart, that the joy that Christmas bring to some people and families is real! because the whole context of it is hope, the birth of a savior, a second chance to be reunited with God in our hearts through the messiah!

and my wish for everyone is that this Christmas happens with less drama, less hurt feeling, less loneliness..less misery ..To everyone whose home is broken, to everyone whose lost someone so dear, to everyone who comes from a dysfunctional family, to refugees and everyone else facing hardships this season..

P.S you are not forced to do anything that doesn’t make you feel safe this Christmas

 

do you also have negative feelings towards Christmas? i would like to hear from you! leave a comment

I AM COMPLETE.

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I am complete, when he comes he will be an extension of who I am, as a whole, as someone who already has a defined identity as someone who is enough for living, for being..

I am complete now, and when he comes we will dissolve as two wholes to make something deeper, but am whole, not just a piece cut on something greater, not just a fragment that won’t make sense unadded to ,

I am complete and when he comes he will find me defined , and knowing who  I am, without him, without anyone but the absolute me that is, the absolute me that lives, a life already full

I am complete that when he comes he will find me with no doubts, of whether I like black or blue so that he can be the one to tell me

I am complete, and when he comes he will find me ready not to hide the nakedness of my soul, my known flaws, and mistakes of the past , he will find me living with them as another thing that makes the whole of my completeness

I am complete, with the self, that loves its self, that forgives itself, that is kind to its self…as if towards someone really important and deserving

I am complete, and joy he will find me with, joy he will find me knowing , so that I am ready to give and with open arms to receive, and that the joy he will bring he will find my heart knowing

And in my completeness and his we will extend. To oneness and form a rock…

Enjoying Lazy days..

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I have been on a break for a week now, having a week without assignments, appointments and responsibilities for the first time in a long long time. and i wanted to get the most of it enjoying the stillness of having nothing on my hands, nothing to look forward to, not even socializing. or worrying about how messy my hair gets..craving cake eating fries and  not get depressed about how big my belly gets..

 

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The town has been feeling like a freaking oven !! making all  my enjoying being by myself almost impossible .Because instead of enjoying long hours of sleep i would be restless trying to find what could be the coolest part of the house. Wearing so little to nothing , laying on the floor opening windows and wishing i was in another part of the country

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But then today felt like a celebration because, God finally answered my silent prayers. it rained, i’ve never been desperate for rain before. The weather is not as  cold as i wish it was still, but the wind smells clean  and the earth feels different. and now it feels like a the right place to enjoy doing nothing at least until Monday

i hope everyone is having a lovely or rather acceptable weather to encourage productivity , bring inspiration or help you enjoy doing nothing like myself..

 

LOVE XX

SUNDAY IS BLISS!

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Aww its Sunday! does anybody else feel like this about Sunday? it feels special. It feels relaxing. It simply feels like no other day.so i thought i would drop a collage of my Sunday bliss in the hope that every body had an amazing Sunday.  Especially those who love Sunday like myself!

Ever since i was young i have always loved Sunday’s, the excitement of having my mum not go to work but rather cook delicious meals, going to church, an opportunity to wear my prettiest dress ,visiting friends and family and so many other happy moments

When i grew up it started to drift unto something else. Having Sunday classes, or a hard exam on Monday to study for. and Missing out on the bliss of basking in this special day! but still when i wake up and its Sunday it feels different. The day looks different, and i want to make it special by eating different, and wearing something different, loving myself and being grateful about life!

The only not so perfect thing about Sunday is the anxiety of starting a new week of work and challenges. The uncertainty of what the new week will come with. but also in the quiet and relaxed mood of Sunday, we may find strength within to change.

My goal for this week is trying to find happiness in working hard!

how do you spend your Sunday? whats your goal for the new week ahead?

Happy start of a new week!

 

Day 3 :” 3 days quote challenge”

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Even though i have loved and been close to several men dearly, and in very special ways, the women in my life beats it all. They are the stars in the story, they are sisters, they listen more. They get crazy with me, they let me feel sorry for myself and vent, tell them the things i hate about my body or voice my sexual frustrations, they take risks with me.

They know what its like to be a woman so its like i understand them and they understand me like i had each of them inside of me, and most importantly, living with them and appreciating them everyday makes me feel grateful for being a woman.

They build me up, teach me things that men won’t, tell me secrets, give me genuine compliments or simply whisper to my ears that i wore a lousy skirt for me to get better and better..what could you trade that for?

In response to the 3-day Quote Challenge (Day 2)

I nominate the following bloggers for the 3-day quote challenge:

Cassi: https://cassiellensecretstory.wordpress.com

https://myblogforlife.wordpress.com

https://ihaveabadsenseofhumor.wordpress.com

 

If you accept, post 1-3 quotes for 3 consecutive days, and nominate 3 fellow bloggers to do the same each day

 

 LOVE AND BLESSINGS

 

Day 2:” the 3 day quote challenge”

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Is the world calling us towards real and genuine contentment? is what its offering us sheer joy or a poisonous gift? is it calling us to look towards the big picture or is it blinding our eyes by material things?

Day by day they leave our souls restless and hungry for more.I know of no money that is much enough. I know of no power that is much enough. We always seek more…and more until it drives us crazy and we lose ourselves into looking for things that don’t even satisfy us.

As little sense as this may make to many, what is there to compare from the fulfillment we get from genuinely loving?  from serving compassionately and wholeheartedly? and for humbling ourselves because we recognize the fragility and vulnerability of human nature..and that we are not the ones in control but GOD is!

In response to the 3-day Quote Challenge (Day 2)

I nominate the following bloggers for the 3-day quote challenge:

Kimba White :http://kimbawhite.wordpress.com

Suze :http://suziland.net

Vicky: https://vickgoodwin.wordpress.com

 

If you accept, post 1-3 quotes for 3 consecutive days, and nominate 3 fellow bloggers to do the same each day

 

 LOVE AND BLESSINGS

 

 

Day 1 : 3 day quotes challenge

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One unique thing about Anne Frank is her super powers of faith and hope.She sees beyond immense suffering and see that there is more to that within humanity. It’s easy to give up on this world. Its easy to curse humanity but is everything going completely wrong? aren’t there  people, men and women who spend every single day struggling to make this place a better place?

In the darkest days of my being, and when i had almost completely given up on believing in people’s kindness and humanity God sent me angels. I saw strangers help me out, people who didn’t even know me but felt the need to lift me up. I spent a long time questioning their kindness and if they didn’t probably want to trap me,  if they didn’t want anything in return. or why they thought i deserved it .

The world is full of suffering, death, extreme poverty, violence and every possible thing that could make you give up. You may easily find living ridiculous but even when it seems like evil is winning darkness no matter how powerful will never overpower light, the love and greatness in people’s hearts remain.

” Even when it seems like evil is winning, darkness no matter how powerful will never overpower light, the love and greatness in people’s hearts remain.”

Fofoflo’r

 

In response to the 3-day Quote Challenge (Day 1)

I nominate the following bloggers for the 3-day quote challenge:

Nam : http://scratchesandscribblesblog.wordpress.com

Lindsay:  https://homehugshuskies.wordpress.com

Chloe : https://overanalysingliterature.wordpress.com

If you accept, post 1-3 quotes for 3 consecutive days, and nominate 3 fellow bloggers to do the same each day

 

 

“THE SMILING THEORY”

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Several years ago i came up with a theory that smiling ruined my pictures! ruined the way i look and everything else! I would never say” cheeeeeeeesee “even if the photographer would insist a zillion times. And I took a million pictures looking darn serious, indifferent disinterested or if i was polite enough would make sure to smile without showing my teeth..its like smiling but not exactly because smiling makes me ugly remember?

Well flash news is the pictures looked terrible anyway if they were supposed to look terrible! and i had a collection of pictures over the years that showed a girl who seemed to be in another place. When others where happy. acting the mood and the moment.

At some point I went back to all those pictures and tried to figure out what they portrayed. They didn’t necessarily show that I was a depressed little girl, or that I had esteem issues and a unexisting confidence. Some of them were probably pretty and I looked like a model you know how their faces look in pictures but I din’t want to portray something that wasn’t me anymore

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“The world will define beauty, differently, it will define beauty as it wants, my kind of beauty is the genuine and happy one”                                     Flor

So I started on with forced smiles, plastic smiles that looked like someone had photoshoped the smile into my face! then I realized it still wasn’t real but I was trying anyway. So if you’re a girl you also probably know that angle that makes you look prettier and stick to it so I was all plastic smiles and best angle, to my disappointment I still looked unbelievably ugly (in my mind) that I thought I would simply avoid pictures this time.

Then I started to ask myself what matters the most, if it’s that my pictures portrays who i am, and what I feel at the moment or the love I feel for life and people in it, people around me and people in the same pictures with me, or if it mattered that the pictures would look as in a magazine but would show me someone I don’t recognize when I was supposed to be looking at a reflection of myself.

So the new me is all smiles and I don’t care if my big nose is all over the place when i smile, I care that my pictures show who I want people to see when they look at me. I care that they show happiness because so many things go wrong but not all of them do. and my story is a happy one. I care that I want to be remembered as I am and not an image of the flawless me I pretend to look like, i care that i believe am beautiful no matter how differently the world defines beauty.

” WARNING THE SMILE IS FAKE!!”

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Ms Florence