“I HAVE NEVER BEEN THERE AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT FEELS”

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[picture found on google]

She is only sixteen and the strongest of all my patients..

When I walked in yesterday she looked so pale but not in a lot of pain, as she usually is.

you haven’t visited me for a while, i smiled,  it was a weekend i don’t work on weekends. here is the Chest X-ray you asked for, it looks perfect no metastases which is good news

And the bad news is you are losing your leg, something i knew from the first time she was admitted. but i never wanted to be the one to break the news , the senior surgeon will be here to take a look at this i said i told her

And there he was, you have cancer, everything shows its a Melanoma and this mass will not disappear we must amputate the leg before it spreads. he camly said

No it can’t be i’d rather die, than lose my leg, she cried but losing a leg is not like losing  life, you are lucky that there are no metastases , yet  i know deep inside there is no luck in having cancer.

I’ve been sick, i’ve endured my share of disastrous physical pain, but i have never had cancer. I’ve never been told that i would lose a leg or an arm. I’ve never had to turn from a functional person to someone who needs the help of people to do every little thing for them.

I  don’t know how to explain that life will go on, that it’s not the end when you still have life. even if it maybe for one more day only. i have never been there and i don’t know how it feels..and neither do i know how to console and comfort my patients.

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