“Falling, rising and staying Great!”

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The picture above is of me and my classmates a few minutes after landing in Ruhengeri Hospital for our junior clerkship. I have never felt as energetic and enthusiastic as i felt that day. It was a cold rainy morning yet full of promises of what my life was going to be for the next 4 months.

I haven’t been posting lately because i practically live in the hospital. I work long hours, skip lunch often, and do more than am supposed to do as long as i feel its important to know. I have made learning and training myself as a future doctor a priority above everything else. which is good, motivating yet killing me at the same time! Today, i am posting this because am laying in bed sick, weak and with a mind thats making a long long speech about how weak and incapable i am!

WHAT I LEARNT THROUGH FALLING!

#1 when a car works longer distances than it used to it needs more fuel. without the fuel and extra care it needs it will inevitably break down. If you have an extra hectic schedule it’s the time to take better care of yourself. think of your health and self-care as the fuel you need so you don’t break down. Exercise, stay hydrated, eat more often and get good sleep and listen to your body.

 

#2 If you fail once or even twice: today i feel left behind and like the worst student because i was supposed to go at the hospital and be learning right now. a few days ago i failed a pathophysiology exam and i swear i wanted to die.

looking back now i failed one exam out of more than other 15 terribly hard exams!  and i feel like a loser ?? come on!!  i know am not the only one who feels this way but why should that one imperfection trick you into believing you are not great ? not trying hard ? and not making it ?

Same goes to how i felt he first week of clinicals.  I spent a long long time in the delivery room or operating theater learning a ton of things and i felt like the medical student am supposed to be. Now that am sick for a few days and i feel like a failure. but heck it’s not true !

#3 Falling, failing and not being as good as we wished we could be is always going to be part of the process.  Yet our light shines in the way we handle it.The way we believe in our greatness when they are no traces of it in the now. The way we still love ourselves, and the way we pick up the pace undiscouraged by the small bumps along the way.

AM SENDING STRENGTH AND LOVE TO EVERYONE FEELING LIKE THIS XX

 

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19 thoughts on ““Falling, rising and staying Great!”

  1. Very uplifting and positive post! I have felt like this before so I can relate it is so easy to get caught up in that thinking though. Like for instance I was working out and eating healthy and feeling great then I got real busy and missed a few days of working out, suddenly I felt myself feel less energetic or excited about it and began being less mindful of my snacks resorting to choclate more. Then the other day I had to remind myself I was doing good, there is no reason to stop now or think negatively about it. Pat yourself on the back for all you’ve done and keep moving forward. I love that this is what you have done here sis and keep it up and hope you are feeling well rested and 100% better soon! Keep shining!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thanks alot for reading! am glad you realized that about yourself sooner a situation, or a set of circumstances doesn’t change how great we are, doesn’t erase how much we have tried in the past and the fact that we can do it again! stay strong and keep your shine as well! am doing much better and will be working hard enough again!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. timelesswheel

    Being a doctor/surgeon is a huge commitment! And it’s extremely taxing! I agree with you that you need to first take care of yourself and your needs (at least the basic ones like eating and sleeping!) in order to be able to give your best to your patients… and definitely very capable 🙂 Hang in there! Get well soon and take care 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow… I feel like living another life(doctor) while being a programmer.
    But…. don’t feel bad if you’re failed … I was afraid of failure in any subject.. but the day I failed in one sub. I felt so free and brave about getting failed… just give your best… !! Rest will be in your hand..

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am impressed!

    Your words here are so on point. Having been a student doctor for awhile myself, I can guarantee you this feeling is constant and utterly captivating & it’s gonna haunt you as often as it can whilst you’re on that precious journey. I am sorry to hear you learnt your lessons the hard way but nonetheless *Keep fighting*. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you for your thoughts, i know its a constant thing, challenges and overcoming them then learning new things and learning to appreciate our abilities, its a great journey and i so much hope to be a great doctor one day, its gonna be worth it!

      Liked by 1 person

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