The picture above is of me and my classmates a few minutes after landing in Ruhengeri Hospital for our junior clerkship. I have never felt as energetic and enthusiastic as i felt that day. It was a cold rainy morning yet full of promises of what my life was going to be for the next 4 months.
I haven’t been posting lately because i practically live in the hospital. I work long hours, skip lunch often, and do more than am supposed to do as long as i feel its important to know. I have made learning and training myself as a future doctor a priority above everything else. which is good, motivating yet killing me at the same time! Today, i am posting this because am laying in bed sick, weak and with a mind thats making a long long speech about how weak and incapable i am!
WHAT I LEARNT THROUGH FALLING!
#1 when a car works longer distances than it used to it needs more fuel. without the fuel and extra care it needs it will inevitably break down. If you have an extra hectic schedule it’s the time to take better care of yourself. think of your health and self-care as the fuel you need so you don’t break down. Exercise, stay hydrated, eat more often and get good sleep and listen to your body.
#2 If you fail once or even twice: today i feel left behind and like the worst student because i was supposed to go at the hospital and be learning right now. a few days ago i failed a pathophysiology exam and i swear i wanted to die.
looking back now i failed one exam out of more than other 15 terribly hard exams! and i feel like a loser ?? come on!! i know am not the only one who feels this way but why should that one imperfection trick you into believing you are not great ? not trying hard ? and not making it ?
Same goes to how i felt he first week of clinicals. I spent a long long time in the delivery room or operating theater learning a ton of things and i felt like the medical student am supposed to be. Now that am sick for a few days and i feel like a failure. but heck it’s not true !
#3 Falling, failing and not being as good as we wished we could be is always going to be part of the process. Yet our light shines in the way we handle it.The way we believe in our greatness when they are no traces of it in the now. The way we still love ourselves, and the way we pick up the pace undiscouraged by the small bumps along the way.
AM SENDING STRENGTH AND LOVE TO EVERYONE FEELING LIKE THIS XX